Adult Sms

1- If you cry, I cry...
if you laugh, I laugh...
if you are happy, I am too...
if you are sad, I am too...
and if you are horny, call me.

2- Why does a woman have two pair of lips?...................
One is for fighting and one is to make up.

3- Ramdev: Beta, hamesha apne se badi ko Maa, choti ko beti aur barabar wali ko bhan samjho.
Banta: Baba fir ye l**d tum rakh lo,
Ramdev: Kyo Beta
Banta: jadi-buti kutne k kaam aayega.

4- A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*?
She says: What's that? .....
He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear..

5- Johnny wanted to have s#x with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me
screw you. But the girl said NO.
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.
She responded, "The idiot used coins!"

6- Man 2 Wife : Business is Going Down
If U Learn To Cook
We Can Remove Bavarchi
Wife : ****
If U Learn To f***
We Can Remove Driver , Gardner & Watchman ...

7- A MAN SAYS 2 HIS WIFE: TELL ME SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE ME HAPPY AND MAD AT THE SAME TIME. THE WIFE SAYS: YUR d*ck IS BIGGER THAN YOUR BROTHER'S

8- A child on juice corner-
Papaji koi aisi Machine nahi hai Jisme Juice dalo to Fal nikle?
Father- Hai,
Teri Mummy.
Usme maine Juice dala to Tu nikal aaya..!!..

9- A girl askz pappu
Gril: Wo kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
Pappu: legs
Girl: wo kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai or meri pant main nai hai?
pappu: paise
Girl : wo kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye raat ko
bistar pe karte hain?
Pappu : neend
Girl: Woh kia hai jo larki pehli dafa karwate hoe pain ki
waja se roti hai ?
Pappu: kaan main chaid(Hole)
Moral : aap bhi apni neeat(intention) pappu ki tarhan rakhain
SHukria!

10- School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha:
Madam ji Thodi aap koshish karo,
thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega..